what really matters

Last week at County Community, since I was on heavy medication for my back issues, I was not feeling at my best, and Crystal and I got the sense that many people at the school were also tired and stressed for various reasons. It was on this day that I met one of my tutees for the first time. Every time before, Shawna had not been at school. Although Teresa told me that Shawna had agreed to tutoring, when the time came to actually go, she refused. She yelled about not needing tutoring and stormed off. As I waited while Teresa dealt with another issue, I noticed Shawna standing on the porch about twelve yards from me. I decided to go talk to her myself. I did not initiate the conversation by talking about tutoring; we talked about shoes and shopping and other things. Eventually, she brought the topic up herself. She told me that she was stressed and did not mean to insult me because she did not want tutoring. I asked her what she was stressed about, and she told me that her cousin had been shot two weeks ago. Tutoring may be something that Shawna needs, however, it is obviously is the not her most pressing necessity. We talked a little about how she was feeling, and made a deal that she would at least sit down with me the following week.
This experience illustrates the fact that there is always a force behind and action, and it is necessary to know that force in order to make an appropriate reaction. Teresa seemed to suggest this when she said that perhaps even if not directly tutoring, I could help by just having a relationship with Shawna that causes her to want to come to school more often. Perhaps Shawna and I both caught the other a little off guard last week but as Butler argues, “Let’s face it. We’re undone by each other. And if we’re not, we’re missing something.” (23).