Milk

Recently I have been hearing a lot about the movie "Milk", featuring Sean Penn. Some of my colleagues have been thinking again about the times of social unrest, civil rights movement and constant struggle in their lifetime. They were telling me about the times of Harvey Milk, and how much he meant to the gay civil right movement. While listening to them talk, I sensed that there was great emotional response triggered by this movie. The comparison of the struggles in the past, and the current ones were drawn. In my opinion, there has been a lot of change in the rights of the LGBT community since times of Harvey Milk. I also think that if Mr. Milk has not been killed, and in turn martyred, we would be living in a different country that would not even think of men and women of the same sex getting married or adopting children. Even my colleagues agreed that someone usually dies for the progress of the many. The question in my head popped up, why?

Why is death necessary in order for others to realized certain things. Virginia Woolf once said that people have to die in order for others to value life more. I wonder if we are that blind, as to not see some obvious problems in our lives and society in general, that an individual has to be sacrificed to open our eyes up.

 

Service Reflection

Throughout the semester I have been working with some great people at the Administrative Offices of The Superior Court of California. Their dedication to what they do is very inspiring. 

In particular, the person I am working with, dedicates at least 13-15 hours of her life every day to progressing her cause. This kind of dedication is very unusual to me, since I have not seen anyone be that passionate about what they do. Not only is she passionate about her work, she gets recognized for what she does yearly, by getting awards and recognition from higher ranking officers.  But, what I noticed is that she is very humble and no matter how much success there is in her wake, she keeps her head and continues to work by helping low income people with their legal issues. The amount of time she spends working with broken families to work out custody battles and alimony issues pays off. What is the point of this blurb? I would love to be able to have that kind of a job, where I love what I do, as well as make a difference in the world. I believe that this is endeavor is one of the most ethical things a person can do, even without millions in the bank. Anyone can write a check, but only a few make a real difference in the community by gracing it with their presence and effort. 

Imaginary Strangers

I spent almost every Friday afternoon in October and November completing my service learning at Giant Steps Therpeutic Riding Center in Petaluma, CA. The following quote from one of the books we read in class helped me make sense of my service experience.

…the great lesson of anthropology is that when the stranger is no longer imaginary, but real and present, sharing a human social life, you may like or dislike him, you may agree or disagree; but, if it is what you both want, you can make sense of each other in the end. (Appiah Cosmopolitanism pg.99)

The important message that I have taken away from my service learning is that children are children, they are not their disability. It is easy to look at an autistic boy and think of him as an autistic, but really he is just another child with numerous things to offer the people that interact with him. The time I spent at Giant Steps was time that I wouldn’t usually take to laugh and spend time with people, but when I was there, even though I was working, I got that opportunity. The children that were once strangers became a part of my life. I had a connection directly to them even if it was a small one. They are no longer imaginary strangers. The time I spent with them gave me time to start to make sense of them and even if I didn’t always know exactly why they were there it became unimportant because no matter what their disability they were ultimately there for the experience just as I was even if their experience was different from mine it still connected us.

Rethinking Freedom

No one can just say I think the meaning of freedom is such and such; one has to really experience this first hand.  For me going to Tehran, Iran and seeing such a disassembled country, made me appreciate everything I have here in America.  “Most people would be excited about freedom; I’d thought…Power not freedom is the real object of desire” (Alford 11).  This is exactly what it comes out to be if one is deprived of freedom, they solely want to get power and rise above others.  Creating this paradigm shift in what really is the meaning of freedom.

There's more than just Ethics

In doing my Core Issues research I came across the idea, in several places, that service-learning is good for academic performance and a feeling of involvement in school. Of course we have heard various times that indulging in service learning is a different and more complex way to learn the issues presented in an ethics class (since after all ethics involves people, not just yourself and your books). But I wondered, for a bit, how doing not-entirely-altruistic community service could possibly be a benefit past such a class or college applications.

Then, of course, it occured to me. Service learning generates an event to look forward to. Additionally, it can be an ego-boost at times to be good enough in anything to be able to help someone else with it. Also, abstract concepts in books--concepts you know you questions the relevance of--can suddenly make sense in the context of helping others.

Given all that, it's no wonder DUC has this program. Now we just have to extend it so that all students get to experience it at least once. Everyone deserves that chance for personal growth.

rediscovery of awe

In Schneider's Rediscovery of Awe, he talks abt. shifting from competency based study to awe based one.He looks at "attunement as not simply intellectual appraisal or behavioral awareness, but as a sustained encounter with the most intimate regions of experience". He also addresses tragedy as integral to life experience and confronting ambiguities that brings strength and self-realization to people developing a "sense of life that both includes and yet transforms the suffering they have undergone and that intensifies their daily living. In my educational advocacy work, I have encountered families of children with disabilities having truly, intimately confronted "chaos and human dread" every day. Enabling them to use "neglected perceptual capacities" to see how"the cultivation of ambiguity and paradox directly parallels the cultivation of awe: (it is the stark realization of our dialectical nature - before creation") is a helpful tactic to face polarizing elements within society. Acknowledging through service, complexity and diversity"also directs us to the peak of human hopes, dreams, and desires, alongside of that dread".

Who Can Love?

Who Can Love?

My expectation of the service-learning experience was that some how I would be able to make a difference in the lives of the middle school children. I was hopeful they would acknowledge my giving nature, and we could become friendly. I was also hopeful for mutual respect.
The experience I encountered last week was inspiring. A young man, Jeff, from a local high school was volunteering his time. He may have been fulfilling a requirement for community service.
His appearance was striking. He was tall with creamy skin and naturally blonde, curly hair. His angelic appearance was inspirational.
Our assignment was to help the students create photos of themselves in racist and sexist actions. I made a few suggestions to encourage the students. I hoped my examples would create stimulus for their assignment.
Jeff on the other hand was right in the action. He lined up camera shots, and offered his car as a prop. He encouraged dramatic facial expressions, and was patient with the students’ objections to the poses because they appeared “un-cool.”
In reference to the book, Why Can’t We Be Good?, my observation of Jeff was clearly an example of, “. . . a human being is the being who yearns to love, who is built to love and to act justly toward man. . . “ (p. 264).
Jeff had no “cynicism” in his relationship with the budding teenagers. He gave of himself at their level. When asked about his life, he answered with complete abandonment of differences.
My desire to be helpful as a guide/tutor for these children requires revision. I was not prepared for the experience and knowledge I received about myself. To serve another human being, I must be completely myself with no apprehension of differences. To express love toward another, I must love myself first.

Finding Time for Service

As the semester comes to close I am finding it harder and harder to squeeze everything in.  As I struggle to complete papers, work, do the laundry, and fight traffic on the 101, the hours in the day seem to be diminishing rapidly.  As my to do list continues to grow I find myself looking forward to my work at CAM.  There is an instant gratification in service learning, in working with someone to make their life different, that I struggle to locate in my daily job. I hope that you all are reminded by your work also that Service Learning is a reciprocal relationship.  More importantly that we are working towards something bigger than exit exams at County Community, homework assignment at Canal alliance, or the reception desk at MAP - these tasks are simply stepping stones towards making some one else's future better so that they we may all be in a position to make our community better.

what really matters

Last week at County Community, since I was on heavy medication for my back issues, I was not feeling at my best, and Crystal and I got the sense that many people at the school were also tired and stressed for various reasons. It was on this day that I met one of my tutees for the first time. Every time before, Shawna had not been at school. Although Teresa told me that Shawna had agreed to tutoring, when the time came to actually go, she refused. She yelled about not needing tutoring and stormed off. As I waited while Teresa dealt with another issue, I noticed Shawna standing on the porch about twelve yards from me. I decided to go talk to her myself. I did not initiate the conversation by talking about tutoring; we talked about shoes and shopping and other things. Eventually, she brought the topic up herself. She told me that she was stressed and did not mean to insult me because she did not want tutoring. I asked her what she was stressed about, and she told me that her cousin had been shot two weeks ago. Tutoring may be something that Shawna needs, however, it is obviously is the not her most pressing necessity. We talked a little about how she was feeling, and made a deal that she would at least sit down with me the following week.
This experience illustrates the fact that there is always a force behind and action, and it is necessary to know that force in order to make an appropriate reaction. Teresa seemed to suggest this when she said that perhaps even if not directly tutoring, I could help by just having a relationship with Shawna that causes her to want to come to school more often. Perhaps Shawna and I both caught the other a little off guard last week but as Butler argues, “Let’s face it. We’re undone by each other. And if we’re not, we’re missing something.” (23).

self-realization

I remember my first day at County Community.  I got out of my car and took a deep breath.  I looked at the school and remember feeling out of place, a little scared and uncomfortable.  I came around lunch time and the students were standing outside hanging around until the bell rang for the next period.  Honestly, I was REALLY scared.  I didn't know what to expect...whether these kids would even listen to be or even cooperate.  I walked right up to the office and signed in.  I asked where Theresa's room was and of course, it was right in the middle of were all the kids were standing.  I remember thinking to myself "wow, is there another way to her office."  I didnt want to walk down that way because I really didnt know what to expect.  For one pretty young and thought they would give me any respect.  Once I got to meet Theresa, I was very suprised to see her interacting with the kids.  After being there for the day I realized she had to be firm and straight forward with them or none of them would be in line.

After my first tutoring session, I felt really pleased.  I realized that the kids at county community really just need some motivation and someone to the extra help.  These kids have real potential, but aren't applying themselves in the right way.  I even felt bad for judging them and thinking they weren't going to pay attention or listen to me, but they all do.  And when you get them one-on-one, away from their friends, they express that they want to learn and that they are eager.  I think it is great that Dominican offers programs like these to help the kids at county because I know that with time and patience, most of these kids can succeed and go on and obtain a high school diploma.  They have real potential, we just have to believe in them in order for them to believe in themselves.  Because how can one believe in oneself if others are constantly doubt you?

Stereotypes Broken

I, like many students, was apprehensive (to say the least) to begin my service with County Community School. After the training, I was nervous to see what the students would actually be like and how they would react to me being there. My first time going to CCS, I was very uncomfortable. The students looked at me like I was an outsider, and I could feel that they knew I didn't belong. As I walked down the hall towards room 9, I could feel the eyes of every student on me--judging me, hoping I wouldn't judge them, wondering what I was doing there, knowing I didn't belong. The hall seemed to go on forever, but I finally made it to room 9. Each time after that first uncomfortable week, the students seemed to accept that I did belong there and that I wouldn't judge them, and really did want to be a friend.

I tutor for 2 periods in a row, and lunch is right between the two. I've begun to get more comfortable just sitting and talking to the students during lunch. The last time I was there, a boy who is a senior came up to me and asked if I was in college. I told him a little about Dominican, and he told me that he is really looking forward to finishing up his school year and going to college next year. He said that he is interested in being a PO, like the ones that work at CCS. I was so impressed with his ambition and genuine desire to reach his goals.

Even though we have been taught not to stereotype those who we are serving, I will admit that I had done that to all the students at CCS. I saw them as drop-outs who may or may not make it once they're done with high school. Speaking with this one young man changed my mind about that stereotype and gave me a new way to look at the students--young people like I was just a few years ago, with ambition, goals, and a true desire to be successful.