Who Can Love?

Who Can Love?

My expectation of the service-learning experience was that some how I would be able to make a difference in the lives of the middle school children. I was hopeful they would acknowledge my giving nature, and we could become friendly. I was also hopeful for mutual respect.
The experience I encountered last week was inspiring. A young man, Jeff, from a local high school was volunteering his time. He may have been fulfilling a requirement for community service.
His appearance was striking. He was tall with creamy skin and naturally blonde, curly hair. His angelic appearance was inspirational.
Our assignment was to help the students create photos of themselves in racist and sexist actions. I made a few suggestions to encourage the students. I hoped my examples would create stimulus for their assignment.
Jeff on the other hand was right in the action. He lined up camera shots, and offered his car as a prop. He encouraged dramatic facial expressions, and was patient with the students’ objections to the poses because they appeared “un-cool.”
In reference to the book, Why Can’t We Be Good?, my observation of Jeff was clearly an example of, “. . . a human being is the being who yearns to love, who is built to love and to act justly toward man. . . “ (p. 264).
Jeff had no “cynicism” in his relationship with the budding teenagers. He gave of himself at their level. When asked about his life, he answered with complete abandonment of differences.
My desire to be helpful as a guide/tutor for these children requires revision. I was not prepared for the experience and knowledge I received about myself. To serve another human being, I must be completely myself with no apprehension of differences. To express love toward another, I must love myself first.

Finding Time for Service

As the semester comes to close I am finding it harder and harder to squeeze everything in.  As I struggle to complete papers, work, do the laundry, and fight traffic on the 101, the hours in the day seem to be diminishing rapidly.  As my to do list continues to grow I find myself looking forward to my work at CAM.  There is an instant gratification in service learning, in working with someone to make their life different, that I struggle to locate in my daily job. I hope that you all are reminded by your work also that Service Learning is a reciprocal relationship.  More importantly that we are working towards something bigger than exit exams at County Community, homework assignment at Canal alliance, or the reception desk at MAP - these tasks are simply stepping stones towards making some one else's future better so that they we may all be in a position to make our community better.

what really matters

Last week at County Community, since I was on heavy medication for my back issues, I was not feeling at my best, and Crystal and I got the sense that many people at the school were also tired and stressed for various reasons. It was on this day that I met one of my tutees for the first time. Every time before, Shawna had not been at school. Although Teresa told me that Shawna had agreed to tutoring, when the time came to actually go, she refused. She yelled about not needing tutoring and stormed off. As I waited while Teresa dealt with another issue, I noticed Shawna standing on the porch about twelve yards from me. I decided to go talk to her myself. I did not initiate the conversation by talking about tutoring; we talked about shoes and shopping and other things. Eventually, she brought the topic up herself. She told me that she was stressed and did not mean to insult me because she did not want tutoring. I asked her what she was stressed about, and she told me that her cousin had been shot two weeks ago. Tutoring may be something that Shawna needs, however, it is obviously is the not her most pressing necessity. We talked a little about how she was feeling, and made a deal that she would at least sit down with me the following week.
This experience illustrates the fact that there is always a force behind and action, and it is necessary to know that force in order to make an appropriate reaction. Teresa seemed to suggest this when she said that perhaps even if not directly tutoring, I could help by just having a relationship with Shawna that causes her to want to come to school more often. Perhaps Shawna and I both caught the other a little off guard last week but as Butler argues, “Let’s face it. We’re undone by each other. And if we’re not, we’re missing something.” (23).

self-realization

I remember my first day at County Community.  I got out of my car and took a deep breath.  I looked at the school and remember feeling out of place, a little scared and uncomfortable.  I came around lunch time and the students were standing outside hanging around until the bell rang for the next period.  Honestly, I was REALLY scared.  I didn't know what to expect...whether these kids would even listen to be or even cooperate.  I walked right up to the office and signed in.  I asked where Theresa's room was and of course, it was right in the middle of were all the kids were standing.  I remember thinking to myself "wow, is there another way to her office."  I didnt want to walk down that way because I really didnt know what to expect.  For one pretty young and thought they would give me any respect.  Once I got to meet Theresa, I was very suprised to see her interacting with the kids.  After being there for the day I realized she had to be firm and straight forward with them or none of them would be in line.

After my first tutoring session, I felt really pleased.  I realized that the kids at county community really just need some motivation and someone to the extra help.  These kids have real potential, but aren't applying themselves in the right way.  I even felt bad for judging them and thinking they weren't going to pay attention or listen to me, but they all do.  And when you get them one-on-one, away from their friends, they express that they want to learn and that they are eager.  I think it is great that Dominican offers programs like these to help the kids at county because I know that with time and patience, most of these kids can succeed and go on and obtain a high school diploma.  They have real potential, we just have to believe in them in order for them to believe in themselves.  Because how can one believe in oneself if others are constantly doubt you?