Putting on a New Pair of Spectacles...

In serving in the kitchen at St. Vincent de Paul’s in San Rafael, I am constantly reminded of the conditions people living in poverty are constrained to on a daily basis, and the further I become involved in serving in the community there, the more I am unable to dismiss their struggle. Early on Thursday mornings when I come into the dining hall, I see diners stooped over bowls of breakfast food, some unwilling to look up, while others peer at me curiously—possibly wondering why I am there. I head to the back of the dining hall towards the kitchen, where I see Luis (who, by his example, teaches me everyday I am in the kitchen how to be patient and full of graciousness), Eddy, and Jin and his two friends from Korea whose smiles radiate kindness, even as they work behind the counter preparing sandwiches.
It is such a blessing to me to be able to get up early to go and work in the kitchen on Thursday mornings. For some reason, it seems as though Thursdays are sweeter because of it, and I find myself thinking of how much I have to be thankful for—how rich I truly am with all the blessings of sweet friendships in my life, the ability to work towards an education at DU, while remembering and appreciating the little things like sunny, sparkling mornings and the gift of eyes to be able to take in this beauty with a free heart at rest and at peace.
I find that in working in the community my perspective on life is broadened, as I find myself not simply thinking about the things that concern only my life, but the lives of others as well, and especially noticing how much I take for granted. Working in the community enables those who serve to think in terms of a larger picture, as many times those (myself included) who are involved primarily in pursuing a career at school focus predominantly on the goal of attaining a degree. In addition, serving in the community builds wonderful relationships with people from many different backgrounds. It is not limited to a cross-section of people with the same goal of education, but it includes people who are there for many different reasons, with a diverse scope of backgrounds.
I conclude, then, by wholeheartedly echoing Gandhi’s statement: “I cannot imagine anything nobler or more national than that for, say, one hour in the day we should all do the labor the poor must do, and thus identify ourselves with them and through them, with all mankind. I cannot imagine better worship of God than that in His name I should labor for the poor even as they do” (Fischer 193). Only when we are sincerely willing to live like those we wish to serve are we able to create lasting change.

Understanding Buber in the context of Service-Learning

Through my understanding of the text of I and Thou, written by Marin Buber, I interpret his understanding of Thou to mean God, and the combination of I-Thou to mean man’s relation with God. Buber writes, “The Thou meets me through grace—it is not found by seeking. But my speaking of the primary word to it is an act of my being, is indeed the act of my being. The Thou meets me. But I step into direct relation with it. Hence the relation means being chosen and choosing, suffering and action in one…” (11). Later in his book, Buber writes that the Thou is in everything and is, in fact, everything. It is interesting that in each one of us is a desire to be found by the Thou, and that we should seek to find the Thou when it should be so apparent to us (being that it surrounds us and is the reason all things hold together). This further prompts me to question what it is that keeps us from seeing the Thou clearly. Buber seems to emphasize that if one is to find the Thou, it will not be in seeking to define it, but rather it will be met by us through grace. We do nothing to attain this knowledge of the Thou by our own willpower to find it, which is uniquely humbling.
In addition, this knowledge of the Thou serves to free us and give us a perspective on life that is reality. It is significant that the relation that is formed between I and Thou is one created by choice. We are met with the Thou at some point (“all men have somewhere been aware of the Thou; now the spirit gives them full assurance” Buber 53), but we must enable our will to choose to step into direct relationship with it, which includes becoming very vulnerable, and allowing oneself to be totally absorbed into the Thou. This action to choose becomes the basis for all consecutive decisions we must make in life—whether they become connected with the Thou, or whether the Thou remains distanced from us. The act of choosing is significant, because without this gift of being able to choose, we emulate robots carrying out a set course of instructions, and this format by no means can become relational.
It seems as though by being in communion with the Thou, one is given the freedom to think beyond oneself, and to therefore think in terms of one’s relation to the world as being a part of it, rather than distancing oneself from it and creating an individual identity. In this way, one is able to interact with others effectively…
Often the most effective and life-changing service learning is done by those who, apart from a sense of duty, find that they are called into relation with others because of their relation to the Thou. It is because of this relation, Buber suggests, that all other relations to the world are put in perspective. Buber muses, “Structures of man’s communal life draw their living quality from the riches of the power to enter into relation, which penetrates their various parts, and obtain their bodily form from the binding up of this power in the spirit” (49). By choosing to step into this relation, we gain the reality of life, the perspective we can base all other relations besides, and the motivation to continue in faith what we alone could never have started ourselves.

Teen Moms Program

I aspire to integrate service into my everyday life, to connect myself to the surrounding community, world, and universe. The richness of varying cultures, diverse societies, varying lifestyles, and religious choices inspires me to reach out in order to experience the world. Currently I am exploring and learning through a developing project regarding teen pregnancy. I admire Eleanor Roosevelt who was able to motivate, empower, and promote drastic change. Reading about influential women, such as Eleanor Roosevelt was stimulating because I started to envision the changes I desire to commence in the world. However, these feelings have been accompanied by doubt and the fear of not being able to succeed, or the fear of being ridiculed for striving towards the impossible. Nevertheless, I am finally confident that I am working towards a personal mission that could continuously aid the surrounding community and hopefully contribute to the universe as a whole.
Working with pregnant teens has become a personal issue to me because I have experienced the challenges students, teenagers, and young parents are confronted with in their cultural settings, regardless of their physical location in this world. These adolescent parents are not only dealing with financial hardships and difficulty continuing their education, but with criticism from their parents and judgments from their society and peers as well.
In my perspective the Thou will be reached through service to others. One can fend for themselves, but must aid their surrounding community in doing so. Through my work at County and Community it has become apparent to me that the small but intricate steps will take me further in my work than any large blurred advancements. I have learned to keep a flowing consistency with my service, which allows me to continually reflect upon my ending goal of community betterment. I strive to improve the lives of my peers worldwide; through lowering teen pregnancy rates, ending the STDS epidemic, providing essential resources, and calling teens to pose personal protests in order to advance in careers and higher learning opportunities. It is through these goals that I am able to better communicate with the Thou. This is how my dialogue becomes clear, how my love remains strong, and how my faith and hope transcend internationally.

What I Learned From My Service Experience

My overall experience at Davidson Middle School has changed me into a better person. It’s naturally hard for people to admit that there are things in their lives that need to be changed; or there are qualities they have that they fail to recognize. Doing my service work at DMS helped me to see both. There were parts of my personality that needed to be changed and developed further. There were skills and talents that I had that I never used before and sometimes thought were useless. From my work there I have learned not only to be more caring of the students that I was teaching, but everyone in general. It’s hard for us to see past our own noses and out of our own situations, but it’s important to recognize that there are people out there who need help and it may up to us to help them. I recall that there have been a number of times where I have berated students for being blatantly disrespectful to their peers as well as to me. Sometimes that only made the situation worse. It was not until I took the time to sit down with the student and talk things out did I discover what the real problem was. From my experiences, one of the most important lessons I learned was that anger only begets more problems. I recognize that there is a need for discipline, but it is the tone and manner of that discipline which matters most.

It took me awhile to realize it, but I took a lot from my service work, I took a lot from the students. I realized that putting your soul into your work does make an impact. I realized that it is possible for one person to make a difference, no matter how big or small it may seem. I realized that I was a real mentor to my students, my presence and help changed them significantly. Another important lesson that I took from them was that you should never give up. There were times when it was difficult for me to make a change in just one student, but I never gave up. Eventually, it paid off and I was able to make changes in many students. Before my experience I knew perseverance was, but I never knew how deeply it could run and how it could affect not just you, but people around you as well. I definitely feel as if I have changed from my service experience and I regret that I have to leave it because I am going home soon. I just hope that I am given the opportunity to do similar work this summer because I have gained new insights and experiences that I will never forget.

Beginning of Happiness

"Why are we here? What is the purpose of life? Is it enough just to be happy? Is my life serving some greater purpose? Are we here to help others or just ourselves?" (Baggini, 2004, 1). Although the meaning of life is personal, to me I have found a piece of it through my service. We are here to help each other - we are all alike, we seek companionship, human touch, happiness and love "love is the most powerful motivator to do anything at all" (Baggini, 2004 188). Through unconditional love of all man kind, we find love and happiness within ourselves. "The beginning of our happiness lies in the understanding that life without wonder is not living" (Schneider, 2004, 163).

One of my favorite quotes of the semester was "If I do not always know what it is in another person that I have lost, it may be that this sphere of dispossession in precisely the one that exposes my unknowingness, the unconscious imprint of my primary sociality" (Butler, 2004, 28). However, because of Ben at the VA I found the purpose of my service-learning - to see his eyes and happiness made it all come together.

So as I re-read this quote I thought - I do not always know what is IN another person the I may GAIN! That day that Ben changed my entire service experience, I have been completely different and now seek out patients who could use a visitor.